remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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