Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
