I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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