Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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