We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize