the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
