Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Pants are for mortals
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
