oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
