in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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