i don't like sucking hair
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
