Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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