What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
