Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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