oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
