Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
