don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
