i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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