Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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