We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
