She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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