i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
