I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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