I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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