And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
