Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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