just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
