so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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