I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Actions speak louder than pants.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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