Non-Jews are for practice
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
