Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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