I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize