I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
