I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
