You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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