I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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