my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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