If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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