He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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