He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
