I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize