you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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