chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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