Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
