Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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