dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
