Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
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I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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