i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize