You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
