i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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