he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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