So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
