Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
