guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
