wat bout pragnant strippers??
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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