Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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