last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
