covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize